I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
You brought string cheese to the strip club
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Randomize
