i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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