i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize