Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Randomize
