420 ftw
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
