Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
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