did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize