i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
