and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize