She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
You ruined the universe
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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