He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
