i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
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