i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
