I will die if light touches me.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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