do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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