STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
