is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
