Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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