I like my sex mixed with concussions.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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