You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
