I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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