I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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