they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
