My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
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