it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
