hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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