omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
