At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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