I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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