your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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