Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I just gift wrapped bread.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
