I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I smell like Dick and happiness
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
