he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
