Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize