i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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