If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
