writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
