Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Dear god my vagina.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
