Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
