She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Randomize
