I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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