I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
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