ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
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