i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
