69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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