is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize
