I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize