Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
