If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
