yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Randomize
