I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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