Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
