Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
This is the high leading the old right now
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
