I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Couch. On fire.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
