There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
handjob tips. give me some.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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