he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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