Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
