Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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