So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
