stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize