Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Randomize
