Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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